CAVO Ep. 82: Overcoming Life Challenges and Self-Doubt to Achieve Business Success

Are you facing challenges in your life that cause you to doubt your abilities and limit your potential? If so, listen and be inspired by Landis Graden, serial entrepreneur, tech investor, philanthropist, author, and vulnerablist. He wrote the book, Bent, Not Broken: Crossing Life's Bridges of Tragedy, Trauma, and Triumph,” to share his story of overcoming life challenges to establish and lead a highly successful business. Landis is a keynote for the CAVO CBEM Virtual Conference: Future Proofing Virtual and Hybrid Work, May 11-12 from Noon to 3 pm ET.

Register and meet Landis: https://nu.tradewing.com/conference/ZQbKe6EwEz5hPDzXr?ticketLinkId=20ba8991-8ac7-4a4e-b589-4f98de53d553

If you are an NU student, alum, faculty, or staff member, reach out to CAVO@nu.edu for a special registration link.

Transcript

Melody Rawlings
0:00 
And welcome to the Center for the Advancement of virtual organizations podcast, overcoming self doubt to achieve business success. I'm Melody Rawlings, Director of Cabo and I'm joined by Landis graden, serial entrepreneur, tech investor, philanthropist, author and vulnerable illest. He is author of the book bent, not broken crossing life's bridges of tragedy, trauma and triumph. We are so excited that Landis will also be a keynote speaker at the upcoming Cabo, sebum virtual conference, future proofing virtual and hybrid work that will happen on May 11 through the 12th from noon to three Eastern time. More information about the conference is in the description for this podcast. In this episode, we will discuss Landis's powerful journey that motivated him to write his book and how he achieved great success in business. Welcome Landis.

Landis Graden
0:54 
I'm glad to be here. Thanks for the invitation.

Melody Rawlings
0:57 
Absolutely. So I'm so glad that you're here with me today for this conversation. And I'm very anxious to hear your story. So to get us started, would you tell us about your background and your journey?

Landis Graden
1:09 
Oh, sure. You know, thanks for asking. I grew up in a military family, we were up and down the state of California, my father who went to Vietnam War. And this is pertinent to my story, came back from the war with a lot of PTSD, which my mom told me, you know, led to, after he got back a lot of abuse, so she was a, she's a domestic abuse survivor. She ended up leaving when I was about nine years old. And then she struggled as a single mom working three jobs. And during that process for me, you know, we grew up between San Diego and the Bay Area. It was very traumatic. But at the same time, I had a lot of love and support from family, and it just developed this hunger to serve others. And so I think if there's a through line for my entire life of serving others, which kind of has led me into the business world that I'm in now.

Melody Rawlings
2:04 
Wow, that's, that's amazing that those experiences those childhood experiences, that could have had a very different outcome than the impact that it had on you to serve others. That's, that's amazing. And I know that you are the CEO of DCG strategies. So would you tell us about that business and the mission?

Landis Graden
2:24 
Yeah, thanks. So DCD strategies, we've been around for about 19 years. And our core focus is real estate services for what we call mission based entities. So lots of public school districts, community college districts, local governments, many, many faith based entities, what they all have in common is they own lots of real estate, they don't have a lot of internal real estate expertise.

And so we become their outsourced real estate department. So whether they're looking to buy sell or lease property, in the case of a lot of school districts, or faith based entities, they have a lot of surplus property and are not sure what to do with it. So they'll hire our company will do an analysis to figure out things like highest and best use, which is a technical term to help them establish, how do they maximize the utility of that property and or maximize the value, and then we will end up executing the strategy for them. So whether that's housing or some social impact, or just monetizing for fiscal needs, we do that as a full service, we have a fantastic team of wonderful people.

And it's just it's a really a calling to do the work that we do. It's very niche. We're very good at it. We dominate the marketplace, but we're I'm surrounded by people who want to give back. So we're a public benefit corporation. So we have a certain social and environmental mission to boot. And so it's just really for us, it's just a way of living.

Melody Rawlings
3:49 
Oh, I love that. What a way to give back to the community. That's, that's really amazing. And I don't think I've ever talked to anyone who has done this type of work. So when you say a niche, you really it really seemed sure seems that way. And I just applaud what you guys are doing. And just think it's just amazing. So do any of your employees work remotely or in a hybrid format?

Landis Graden
4:12 
Very good question. Absolutely. We're hybrid, before the pandemic, and this goes back many years, I've never, I really don't like email much. I think it's abused. And I don't like inefficient meetings. And so even prior to the pandemic, I would minimize the amount of meetings we had. And we had collaborative software which allowed people to work remotely. We just weren't in the culture of working remotely permanently. But since the pandemic we've become a permanent work where you are company. So it's more hybrid than anything because you still have individuals that want those social connections and that collaborative energy that comes from meeting in person so a group of us go to the office at least once a week but it's not a require Hammer?

Melody Rawlings
5:01 
Oh, that's great. That's yeah, that's amazing. Because I've been reading so many articles about, some are actually, a number of companies have tried to force people back into the office. And that's not going so well, at least from what I'm reading. And it's nice that you can offer if they want to come back in, to fulfill those social needs, or those that those creative, you know, ways to be more creative and draw creativity from each other for being in person together. But it's not required. I love that. Because generally, when things are forced on people, it's met so often with resistance.

Landis Graden
5:39 
Absolutely. And I, you know, the, we're in a such an environment where we have the tools, and you know, not to mention the environment. So I remember, during the pandemic, I, you know, for the few times I did figure out how clean the air was. And I think people are more productive, more energetic, happier when they're in environments where you know, they're supported and comfortable. So if that's home, or if that's the beach, or you can, if you're have young children, and you're working, and then you're at the soccer field, and you can still get your work done. I think it should be about results and not activity.

Melody Rawlings
6:18 
Thank you. I could not agree more as a fully remote employee, I could not agree more with that. And I do. And statistics would back us up research would back that up, that people are more productive, where they are the happiest, and whether like you said, regardless of whether that's sad, it's different for different for all of us. And but I love that. So what do you consider to be your greatest success in life? And then in business?

Landis Graden
6:48 
You know, I can actually combine those because I was thinking about that. I think there aren't going to I can't pick out one particular moment as the apex where it was like that was the grandest achievement of my life. But there are two moments that stick out. So what's my son who's going to be 14, he had to be maybe in a second grade, third grade at the time. And we were driving past a restaurant that we frequented. And they were closed, permanently. And he was shocked because it was one of his favorite places. And he said, Dad, why is this restaurant closed and wiser assigned? And he had all these questions.

And I explained to him, I say, sometimes restaurants just need to close for different reasons. It could be financial, or some other burden that didn't allow them to sustain their business. And he goes, he's in the backseat. He says, Well, Dad, if you ever get in trouble in your company, I'll open up a lemonade stand and give you some money. Oh, so it's cute on the surface, right? But after a few seconds, it dawned on me. He was thinking like an entrepreneur. Yeah, right. I'm going to create my own income, and then I'm going to provide investment capital for you to keep going back. I love that what I realized was he had an entrepreneurial spirit and a leadership spirit.

And then I thought, you know, that felt like a business accomplishment because his ability to see the universe was different than mine growing up, I didn't know I can become an entrepreneur too many years later in life, but he grew, he grows up with that. And I didn't want to take that for granted. I think the other moment was my daughter, I recently wanted to do community cleanups. And I did a lot of local political service. And one of the things I was doing was a community cleanup because United Community gave all the people something to rally and support, collectively build relationships.

And she came home last year when she was a freshman says that I want to do community cleanups, and she started her own nonprofit organization. So those are two highlights that stand out for my business career, but also transcend into my personal life. Because, you know, it's the ability to develop leadership in them, which is really the biggest goal of mine and work is you know, we do I love what we do, but as developing people and seeing them develop their internal agency and leadership that really is driven me all my career.

Melody Rawlings
9:20 
Wow. And you're seeing that, right, right in your own home, how that's working out. So that's, that's awesome. You know, our kids are everything to us. And so I can still relate to that. And then seeing seeing that what you're doing in them right there. That's, that's awesome. It's amazing. So what do you what are some of the biggest challenges that you faced in achieving business success?

Landis Graden
9:49 
I was listening to some, some content this morning that talked about how successful entrepreneurs have either been bankrupt or on the brink of bankruptcy many times in their career, which meant to say, you know, the financial pressure. And so fortunately, I've never had to file bankruptcy. And all the years I've been in business, and I've had multiple companies, but some of them have been failures.

They just didn't work for whatever reason. So I think the challenge always is for me, how do you continue to provide the value proposition because the market shifts, competition adapts, markets collapse, financially speaking, talent leaves, and so it's an never ending, I would say kind of orchestra of maintaining culture, making sure you can cashflow, adapting to change. So it's, it's just like, they're always they're always there, they're always knocking at the door. And so it's just staying on top of keeping those things top of mind. So as an entrepreneur, you know, we kind of rise to the challenge, but it's stressful, it never really goes away.

Melody Rawlings
10:59 
What came to my mind when you were when you were sharing that was you better love what you're doing? Because otherwise, because it is there all the time, like you said, and if you don't love what you're doing, that's gonna get old real fast.

Landis Graden
11:13 
Absolutely. So not only love it, but adapt, right? There is no reason blockbuster should be gone, there is no reason Netflix came, we have a new concept, we think we should smell CDs, and they laughed him out of the building, and now they're gone. And we can go down a list of other companies that are just gone by the wayside for lack of adapting to change. And so you have to love it. But you You better grow and change as the world change. Are you going to love yourself right out of a job?

Melody Rawlings
11:42 
Yeah, great point, that adaptability is vital. And absolutely necessary. And boy, it's just changed all the time, whether it's in a in our business, in the business world, or even in our personal lives, it seems like at least in my mind, it's just constant change

Landis Graden
12:00 
is mind boggling. It's like, I mean, that's why I think self care is super vital. Because even in our world, you know, we do very well. But every now and then we'll see competition attempt to come into our market, they'll adapt, so that forces us to adapt. So you know, where I was comfortable on Monday, or Tuesday, I have to grind not that I don't grind is just that constant change, both internal and external is unrelenting in it. And there's this low pulse of stress that is always there. And I think so the ability to self care and manage stress and take breaks and is vital.

Melody Rawlings
12:41 
I'm glad you brought up the importance of self care because it is so easy to get caught up and and just feel like you're buried almost in the stress and then forget to really step back and take those setbacks. And think or say, you know, okay, I just, it's, I've got to have a timeout here. Even if it's brief, just to catch your breath and, and do something that you enjoy. And that helps you to kind of get get back on track and focus on things that really matter. In your life.

Landis Graden
13:14 
Yeah, no, I agree in for me, it's a perennial struggle I there are times where I'm doing really, really well at it. And there are other times where I do forget to take breaks or I'm just over committed. And you know, in our culture in this civilization that we live in, you know, just over time, people honor workaholics, you know, you get the stories, I don't sleep and I go nonstop and take your five hour energy. And it's it, it's so giving yourself permission to say I'm taking time off giving yourself permission to say I'm not going to answer the phone, I'm not going to check email I'm going to unplug. That's not always popular. So it takes a certain level of personal fortitude and discipline to know that I have to make those investments and myself for sustainability and health reasons and even to just be more effective over time.

Melody Rawlings
14:00 
Oh, exactly. You know, we laugh at those. I haven't seen him lately. I don't watch much television. But you remember those commercials where people will be out whether it's a couple will be out and having dinner and either both are on their phone or one or on their phone? Like we left with that, but it's so real. It's so real. Oh, gosh. So would you share with us your thoughts on the future of remote and hybrid work?

Landis Graden
14:29 
I think it's here. And I think it's here to stay in. I know I hear the different debates and I'm in certain rooms with a bunch of business leaders and some of them are attempting to force folks back to work. Some of them are touting data that says oh, there's trends going to shift but I just can't see it. I think the future is companies need to adapt, or they're not going to have the talent required to deliver the products and services to their clients.

We have so many tools at our disposal that allow us to work remotely. We have all these collaboration tools that allow us to work efficiently. And people are now given the pandemic, they've had a taste of how it feels to not have that commute stress, if you live in certain cities or areas where there's a lot of commute, and the ability to kind of balanced life, you know, there's that elusive work life balance, which I always thought was kind of a false economy to be able to do that. It's more immediate to me, it's more being integrated in your life. And I think people have found that space to be able to work from home.

And we learned that during the pandemic, we had to work from home and educate the kids all at the same time, as though although it was stressful, you're not getting up early, dropping the kids off at school or before school care, driving to the office, and then getting to pick up the kids by a certain time and then running back out to activities and, and then having it you can do it all at your own pace, and not have all that extra stress of having to go meet people wherever they are including at the office. So I think it's here to stay. And I think it's I think it's unwise for companies to assume that we're going to go back to how it was pre pandemic, because we're in a new normal, and it's now normal.

Melody Rawlings
16:16 
Oh, exactly. And I sure hope it never changes because, you know, I love being able to work from home. And, and I think companies, these companies who are so fixated on if you're in the office, your productive kind of ideology have got to stop because just because somebody's in the office doesn't mean that they're being being productive. That doesn't mean they're more productive in the office than they are from home. So you've got to find new ways of to measure accountability to measure productivity. And they're and they're, they're there, they just need to start looking at it through a different lens.

Landis Graden
16:54 
You know, you bring up a very good point, I'm, I'm middle aged now. But I began my career in the court in a fortune 100 company. And I had the fortunate pleasure of being able to move up the leadership chain really quickly. And being a such a large corporation and having worked in headquarters and at the field on multiple occasions. There were so many time wasters within the office environment. There were I it was rare that you'd see people just work all day, what was normal was long lunches, long breaks, talking in between meetings, talking, you know, after a phone call there. I think there's this perception that because folks are at the office, and I'm just you know, a Manning to your point, there's this perception that people are more productive. I think they waste more time. I find when I'm working at home, I can focus on very specific deliverables, in have extremely focused time. And I'm done in a matter of hours. But if I were at the office, I'm entertaining all the social connections and interactions and all the interruptions over a whole day and still getting half the work done.

Melody Rawlings
18:06 
Absolutely, with my situation as well. So totally, totally Amen. That because I do I do get more work done at home as well, just for the reasons you just described. So what motivated you to write your book Vint not broken, crossing life's bridges of tragedy, tragedy, trauma, and triumph.

Landis Graden
18:27 
Um, thank you for asking. I do probably need to talk about the book more but I wrote it so there's I don't know if you're familiar with aces adverse childhood experiences, it's a 10 question diagnostic. If you're listening, you can Google Asus, AC e s, take a test. And it really is something that the medical practice, or I should say medical practitioners have started using for to help with trauma informed care. So I'm going to take I'm taking the long road to the book. So if you if you take a class of third graders, and let's just drop them in some urban setting where maybe there are some socio economic challenges, and one kid is on this particular day disruptive in that kid may be disruptive because maybe last night there was trauma at home or in my case, you know, my father has been my mother.

So I will take him out trauma to school with me. And I'm going to have a different learned experienced in the kid who had two parents at a dinner, they spent quality time they went on a walk and they went to bed and I'm up all night listening to violence. So as I matriculated through life, I had to, I didn't have an understanding of anger issues and other things that just interrupted my ability to be happy as I got into therapy, and found that I was suffering for something called impostor syndrome, which means you know, I always felt I didn't belong in the room and that has a lot to Do with childhood trauma where I was, I'm not saying this in an arrogant fashion I, I just can synthesize information quicker. So some people can do that. And we will label them smarter, I just process information really fast. And so I always was able to finish schoolwork quickly or, or, you know, solve problems off quickly or, and as an entrepreneur, I can see things.

And so I say all that to say, as I reached the level of what I'll call wholeness, emotionally, and professionally, I've found my niche folks would just, you know, compliment me in how'd you get there. And, and I saw, and I always felt like, it wasn't easy to get here. And then when I started getting involved in local politics, and I'm very active in my church, I saw a lot of men in particular have toxic masculinity, right? It's this concept that we have to be masculine, and we have to hide vulnerability, and it has to be our way or the highway, and, you know, we just a bull in a china shop emotionally, and it's not about other people, it's about us and our needs. I knew then that I needed to tell my story. Because it's full of, you know, the lot of mistakes I made, and as in relationships, the struggles I had, as a child, in the ability to get the support, I needed to heal from a lot of those wounds, and still lead a productive, happy, joyful life, and leave behind the next generation that's happy and well resourced.

And that's a story I just couldn't find when I was searching, you know, I'd read these books on self help, how to be more disciplined, or how to heal a broken heart, or, you know, I read these books, and they'd always be high level, but the guy never said, I did this, you know, and I regret doing this, or this happened to me, and I had to overcome that. So I've always felt like my story wasn't being told, because I needed the guy who had a really, really rough life, who made lots of mistakes, who is entitled to grace, who then can have a life of redemption, I needed that. So that's why I wrote the book, it was really a tool to help people put back put away their shame, put away their guilt, heal from trauma, whether something happened to you or you were the thing happening to something else. And really live a life of purpose and calling and destiny and, and be happy every single day, no matter where you came from. So I want to tell the story of raw and gritty but but provide the journey so people can see how they could do it themselves.

Melody Rawlings
22:37 
Well, thank you, thank you for sharing that. You know, sometimes we just as you were describing that was just thinking, we just need to hear someone else who's experienced or experiencing the same or very similar situations just because we can just wreck that we can just relate to that person and felt felt like that were understood, because somebody else's has been through that, or has experienced that. And I'm so glad that you brought up imposter phenomenon, because I'm very familiar with that. And I've experienced that. And and based on the body of research, I know a lot of people experience imposter phenomenon and having that self doubt. And kind of sometimes we beat ourselves up over it.

And I don't know I for one, I've left meetings, or I've just left situations where I think why did I say that? Or? Or why didn't I say this? And then I just start tearing myself apart because of what I did or did not do, and then just having so much self doubt. So I really appreciate you sharing that and that story and your motivation for writing the book? And what advice would you give to those who struggle with self doubt?

Landis Graden
23:53 
Yeah, thank you for asking us. You know, when we struggle with that self doubt, there's a companion that goes with that, which is called self sabotage, right? Because we did expect the worst to happen, because we don't feel worthy enough or qualified enough. And then we lower our expectations, because maybe we are smart. And maybe we are the person with the right answers on that particular day. So my advice is to give yourself grace, that's number one, give yourself grace to just know that you are. You are worthy of your accomplishments, and that you are not in the room accidentally, and people didn't invite you in the room out of sympathy that you have the skills and the will in the presence to be where you are.

So first, just give yourself that level of grace and go through the ability to go through the process to trust yourself. Because a lot of people who struggle with that and they like you were just saying that you have those those doubts when you do that kind of post Post Mortem review of where you just were, and you're sitting in the room thinking I know all the answers, but maybe I'm wrong. So I'm just not going to assert myself. It's going head and just giving yourself permission to show up. Because I've learned that I'd rather take my swing and miss but know that I left it out there then to hide in in and remove myself from the opportunities. And there will be failure, because that's really at the end of the day, we're afraid of failure. And just shifting failure to being an educational equation, failure only really gives us feedback. It tells us how to do something differently, what modifications to make.

And so I think the last thing is just accepting failure as feedback. I read an article recently, we all know WD 40 is a very, very well utilized solvent that's been around for decades. And it's it's a water displacement is the is the inventor said it was the 40th attempt at the formula. That's why it's WD 40. water displacement, 40th formula. And he just didn't quit, right, he could have quit at 39. But he kept going. And so the last story of interest inspiration for those that suffer from that is I have a friend of mine, he's on his second billion dollar corporation. And it took him 60 attempts to get the first investor. And he could have quit at every turn. But he said, we're gonna we're not stopping until someone says yes. And that led to his first company, which was up to 5 billion and he's on, he's on his way to three now. So just don't stop it. Just, it will work out if you keep going. And don't and don't listen to the nose.

Melody Rawlings
26:45 
Well, I love that I love those stories. And that could just go off on so many different things that you just said, I would love to and I wish we had the time to do that. Stubbornness can be a good thing sometimes. Right? Right. I'll give up and it's so often easier to show other people grace than it is ourselves. It's the old thing that you know, we've all heard about we are our own worst critics. And least I know I am mine.

Landis Graden
27:15 
You are and that's why we need to keep people around us that are going to be truth tellers, not telling us what we want to hear, but give us real critical critical useful feedback. So sometimes when we see something that we're doing that we shouldn't do we have someone else to confirm that it was sometimes we just have to trust our instincts but I'm with you on that.

Melody Rawlings
27:32 
So so true. And I just love you know, showing showing ourselves grace. Yeah. So it's just been a pleasure chatting with you. Landis it's been a great conversation and I'm so inspired by what you've shared and I believe our listeners will be inspired, encouraged as well. Are there any closing thoughts you would want to leave with us and also as part of that, where can our listeners purchase your book?

Landis Graden
27:54 
They definitely can on Amazon it's every it's online everywhere books are sold online. So Amazon obviously is the is one of the most ubiquitous sources so they can go on Amazon bet not broken and they'll find it. I think parting thoughts is to trust yourself and follow your dreams. I think so many of us just are afraid of failure or feel like we're not good enough. I just go for it. i At the end of the day you're gonna get to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow because it is there.

Melody Rawlings
28:28 
Love it, love it. It's just been a pleasure chatting with Landis graden, author of bit not broken. 10 The Cabo seaborn virtual conference, future proofing virtual and hybrid work may 11 and 12 to engage with Landis and many other remote experts as well. Thank you for joining us in support of the Center for the Advancement of virtual organizations. Thank you Landis.

Landis Graden
28:51  
Thank you for having me as I've really enjoyed the conversation.