National University Podcast Series

WPC Ep. 11: Let's Talk about Peace with Dr. Aurélia Bickler and Hasmik Movsisyan

• Hasmik Movsisyan • Season 1 • Episode 11

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Join our conversation as we explore diverse perspectives on peace and discuss ways to integrate its values into the lives of our children and students. Discover strategies for fostering responsibility, empathy, resilience, and understanding among students, making peace a tangible part of their daily lives. Let’s work together to create a culture of peace - one human at a time, one lesson at a time.

Join us as we discuss actionable approaches to make.

Be a Friend Organization. https://www.beafriendproject.org/

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to the Whole Person Center podcast. Our mission is to improve the human condition by providing resources, research and training opportunities, and direct health services while supporting the development of highly competent professionals. Bonjour everyone. Thank you so much for coming today and joining us. My name is Dr. Aurelia Bickler, and I am the director of the Whole Person Center. Today we have this incredibly wonderful, passionate, and talented guest, Hasmik Mofsisian, who is going to join us to talk about peace. I can't wait to dive into it and ask you all the questions, as is such an important topic. And I want to thank you so much for being here. So, Hasmiq, tell us a little bit about yourself. Tell us about your background and why this topic is important to you.

SPEAKER_01:

Hi, Avalia. Thank you for having me here. This topic is super important and I'm happy to be here to talk about it with you. I'm originally from Armenia. I have a background in linguistics, teaching, and social emotional learning. I have two wonderful kids and a husband who supports me in everything. And this topic is important to me for several reasons, but I will bring two. First, I lived through war myself. My country endured three wars, during the first of which I was in the country. And the experiences I had, I would say no, thank you, no more. And the second is connected with my kids. I don't want them to have the same experiences I had first. And second, I, like many other parents, worry about my kids and I want to help build a safer future for them so they will thrive in peace. I love teaching and I've worked with many age groups, including adults. But uh one thing is obvious for me, my heart lies with preschoolers. Uh, first of all, because this is the right age, the ideal age to lay the foundation for them to grow into empathetic, responsible adults that would build peace.

SPEAKER_00:

It makes me think of the word peace. Um as I'm listening to you talking about peace, uh, as I'm listening a little bit about the little pieces that you gave us about your history. I'm thinking that the word itself might mean different things to different people, right? I wouldn't have thought about war automatically personally, for example. What does peace mean to you? How do you describe it?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, it's it's a beautiful question. And um it's interesting because uh having linguistics in my background, I observe words from a different perspective. And what uh was interesting for me to reveal is that while some words disappear, become archaic, and drop out of use, words of uh universal value, global importance, words that also carry emotional content in them, not only stay in our life but also develop, evolve, depending on the experiences and internal and external environment. For me, it has very many meanings and I observed my path through life as it as this meaning changed. Uh, I will pinpoint a couple of periods of time that it underwent global changes. First was my childhood. Uh, when I think of it, the things that come to my mind are uh frustrated potatoes that we ate. Uh, we had no other food. That was the only option for us, the long lines for deliriation of 30 ounces of bread that we had. And uh in the background we had the war, the war that hundreds, thousands of Armenian young women and men were dying. And uh during that period uh the word peace also started meaning for me the hope, hope that people would return from war, hope that we would start having food, that the scarcity would be over. That was the one part of it. Then through life, next big change occurred when my child was in fourth grade and she was being bullied by a classmate. The school wasn't that supportive, maybe they were not prepared. I'm not sure, and I don't want to dive into that. But uh I stepped into the school as a school volunteer to be there for my daughter in case she needed me. And then and there I started seeing the real life of real children, real situations, and I started understanding how it is very, very difficult to build peace in a diverse population, where diversity is not only racial, cultural, but also the diversity of access to resources, diversity financial. And uh here I started a program in the school. It was based on arts and crafts, but uh the global idea was bringing peace, showing the kids that friendship is constructive. When you are a friend, you can create. When you are not building friendships, you are destroying something important. Uh this was the time that I started thinking about aggression, and uh we can observe aggression from different points of view. There is physiological, biological, environmental reasons, but every time I catch myself on the thought that this case, this specific case, could have been prevented. And here it's important to understand that early intervention is important. And by saying early intervention in peace building, I mean early childhood.

SPEAKER_00:

It's interesting because you know, I my background is in therapy, right? I'm a marriage and family therapist by trade, and so I'm hearing all of this, and there's certain themes that I think I hear. Um, and one of them is connection. Right, you said something about when you construct together, when you are when you build friendships, I I almost heard it as if that creates a path for peace. Is that did I get that right? And could you elaborate on that?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, absolutely. Uh first of all, you need to show people that although they come from different backgrounds, they are not so different. They have the same global values, although family values may differ, but we all want peace for ourselves, we all want to go home happy, we all want smiles around us, and building that connection is I I absolutely agree with you, is the foundation for our kids and ourselves as well. How many times have we gone home and thought, oh man, this was not such a successful day? Well, on the other day, we would meet someone who would make our day as bright as possible because you found the like-minded and like-hearted person for yourself.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I feel like we could have a whole other conversation around that, right? Because then there's like the peace that we spread and the peace that we cultivate inside ourselves and internal peace versus sort of like global peace, right? There's just so many places I want to go with this topic right now. But I guess I guess um one of the questions I have, um, how how might one go about spreading or sharing peace with other people? How do we how do we sort of oxygenate that that flame, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh I love the thought of spreading spreading peace, and uh I always agree with people who say that it starts from inside. Uh I I started reading this absolutely wonderful book titled uh Peace is Every Step. It's written by Tignat Han, a Vietnamese monk and peace activist. And uh I absolutely love how he says, and I'm going to quote this because this is a beautiful set of words. Uh he says, um, I'm uh it's not my intention to give you ideas about peace. You have plenty of ideas about peace. It's not my intention to talk about peace. My intention is to be peace right here and right now. It's possible because peace should be in your body, your feelings, your perceptions, and your consciousness. And when you think about these words, you do realize on physical layer and on uh uh like emotional layer that it's so true. You cannot accept peace from someone who has scattered thoughts, uh body that uh manifests tension, uh mind that is agitated. You need to first maintain your internal peace to be able to spread it outward. And uh what's there are so many aspects, uh, this question encompasses so many things, but I want to stop on how we can teach peace to younger generations. Because as my mom says, you cannot change people when they are big, and I'm telling them I can help them think. So if we as adults allow ourselves to think about building peace, we can also teach our kids to be peace themselves. And uh I always think about do we emphasize enough for our kids how important this word is, how important the responsibility of it is. Do we explain to our kids that every choice we make is a responsibility, the ripple effect of it. When you do something, it doesn't end then and there. It spreads around and it depends on you whether you will seed flowers or coal. And what I want parents to think is that uh there is this expression that is connected with war, but I don't believe it's only for war, the collateral damage. When we hear collateral damage, we imagine military actions. But do we teach our kids that the choice we make will either bring peace or leave a trace of collateral damage? There is this fresh event that occurred quite recently in my family's life. My son is being bothered and bullied in the school right now, and uh a specific child targeted my son, and I always think I cannot blame this child because he's a child. But did they say parents ever explain that when you bug this one person, he goes home in upset feelings, he tells his parents, his parents become upset. It's a ripple effect. You affect so many lives, and you can either impact the life or affect the life, and it's again your choice.

SPEAKER_00:

I I wonder, I mean, first of all, I'm so sorry to hear that your son is going through that. It's very painful. Um, I used to be uh the director of an anti-bullying organization down here in South Florida, and so bullying is something that's very, very uh dear to my heart. Resolving bullying, helping, you know, being an advocate for uh responsible uh bystanders and you know, action being taken from whichever angle people have access to. Um so first of all, I just want to I want to send you big hugs from one mom to another, one human to another, and spread a little peace to you as you go through that because seeing our our little ones hurt is a very difficult thing to um to endure, really. And I'm curious, how do you how do you what would you say to our listeners? Like, how do we handle being attacked and and still focus on ourselves being sort of um um uh a transport or a I can't think of the word um for peace. In other words, how do you how do you bring peace into your son's heart as he's being bullied um by this child?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, first thing that I always have instructed both my kids is the safety. If you are afraid of somebody, if you are intimidated by by somebody, keep a distance, stay away, and then start solving the issue. Address the trusted adult, talk to someone. We are super lucky that our kids uh have this relationship with us that they come and they tell everything. But how many kids do not do that? How many kids suffer on their own without knowing that there is a sequence of simple steps that we can do? And I always tell my son, they are reading now the wonder, the classroom reading, wonderful book. And uh I'm telling him, if someone is bothering you, it's not because of you, it's because something is happening to them. And feel peace about yourself and spread the kindness to them. It's hard at that moment, it's very hard. But the first thing to understand that it's not your fault, and you are not at fault when you are bothered is the first step towards building peace.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's a powerful um shift from you know, I that's how I hear it. I hear it as a powerful shift between, you know, what I'm experiencing myself being attacked versus hey, there's a greater thing happening, and if you if you remove yourself from it a little bit, you can see it from a different angle and get and and understand it on a different level. It sounds like am I capturing that correctly? Is that what I'm hearing?

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely, yes. Uh, I will bring a little example that always bothers me. Uh, when my kids bring home uh homework and there is a reading and answering the questions, and there is this number one question: who is the main character? I always tell my kids, write who is the main character, answer the question, turn your homework in, but always know that in a situation, in a life situation, there is no main and secondary character. There are equally strong, equally important characters. All the characters together build the story, and whether this story will be a sad one or an empowering one depends on all the participants of it. So teaching kids that uh the uh the character from whose perspective the story is told is the main one. I disagree with that.

SPEAKER_00:

So powerful, so powerful, my goodness. Um I feel like I want to soak that in and just sit with that. It's so beautiful and it's so true. And we walk around in a society that kind of promotes us focusing on ourselves, right? Our experience, our ego, our pain, our love. And you're bringing this incredibly important perspective that it all comes together to create a bigger thing, and that each role is equally meaningful. It's just so beautiful and so powerful. It makes me think of it makes me think of art, actually, which is kind of you know, uh cool and wild. And I feel like I'm gonna walk away from this conversation and just my mind is opening to all sorts of ideas. So let me ask you a different question that I, for the sake of our listeners, um, who might be interested in learning more about peace, and I think you highlighted really beautifully how peace is so many different things, right? It's not one thing, but it's also being peace in that moment. Um and so, what resources might you suggest our listeners can have access to to learn more about peace on any and all of these different levels? What are some things that you recommend they they kind of dive into?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh I will step on two things that are important for me, and uh then there will be a list of resources that the listeners can find at the bottom of this podcast. Uh, first of all, uh when I was researching mindfulness in my master's program, I was uh trying to see if mindfulness can help in the inhibitory control, uh, the impulse control of preschoolers. I uh realized that uh mindfulness is so powerful understanding yourself at this moment, this piece of self-awareness, if that's strong, you can move forward knowing your value. And I started looking for poetry to incorporate in my lessons because uh I also feel that poetry, especially if it has a rhythm and rhyme, they have this internal calming rhythm that can help you bring your soul to its uh home. And uh I realized that there isn't much done in that aspect. There isn't there aren't many pieces of poetry that you can read to kids that would involve emotion and solutions to problems. And uh, because of that, I started writing my own poetry, and uh I'm going to publish it as a book soon, so be on the lookout for that. And uh the second very important thing that is dear and near to my heart is this organization called Be a Friend. Uh, this is uh I would advise every parent who wants to bring up an empathetic child to visit that website. I would encourage every teacher who wants a peaceful culture in their classroom to visit that web page and get kids involved in this organization's events because every month this organization chooses one recipient, one bullied child, and all the people write them letters, show them, send them little gifts, handcraft something, and by the end of this month, this chosen uh recipient receives all this mail of support. And first of all, this child feels supported and it boosts their confidence, their energy, their hope for the better. And on the other end, the child who wrote the letter learned how to encourage someone. It's beneficial to both parties.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. You uh you highlighted the importance of bringing peace early on, right? Early childhood. Um, you talked a lot about it in the classroom, and I can't help, I can't let you go until I ask you this one question. I can't help but think about adults that walk around missing that peace, excuse me, whether it's because they're riddled with agitation or anxiety, or they're holding on to negative feelings that keep them from being at peace. Is it ever too late to find peace? Can we find peace at in our 80s?

SPEAKER_01:

It's never too late. I found my peace quite recently. I was disagited living in a scattered and nervous environment, internal environment, when nothing was enough, when nothing seemed quite good, what I have done. And I did find my peace, and I created this resource. I created this easy guide for incorporating mindfulness in your entire day, from the moment you wake up all the way to the moment you go back to sleep. For example, when you wake up, you jump out of bed and you rush into the day. What about you wake up, you give yourself only one minute to lie down, smile, breathe, think about the day, and be grateful for this yet another day given to you to live because many others don't have that uh chance. Many others lost that ability to have yet another day. How about you feel grateful and then smiling, wake up? This does not only give time to your body to wake up, but also to your mind and brings you, uh grounds you to the moment and grounds you to the reality of your own self.

SPEAKER_00:

So beautiful, and I love the focus on gratitude and how that foster fosters peace. It's just so powerful. Um, I want to thank you so much for your time, for your knowledge, for your peaceful energy, and for truly bringing light into the world with this uh perspective, this beautiful movement of spreading peace around and um and supporting others who need a little bit of help, who need a little bit of support. And so I just want to thank you. Thank you for being here today. Thank you for um all the wonderful resources that you have provided that will be posted along with the podcast. And um I look forward to learning more on this topic um with you and through the resources that you provided.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you so much for having me here. And uh I want to finish with my motto. I always tell my kids and my students tomorrow, today will be yesterday. If you want to build peace, start today.

SPEAKER_00:

Wow. Beautiful. That is sinking into my heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Uh, thank you to our listeners for being uh here and listening to us and being part of our community. And until next time, take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and spread the peace.