National University Podcast Series

CAVO Ep. 96: Essential Remote Relationship-Building Opportunities for Managers

• Sunny Ziemer + Dr. Kathy Richie • Season 5 • Episode 96

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Building relationships is an ongoing process, not a one-time event. In this episode, Sunny Ziemer, CAVO Visiting Virtual Expert and CEO of Distribute Consulting, joins Dr. Kathy Richie, Associate Professor at National University, to discuss key moments managers should never overlook and share practical tips for strengthening connections in remote teams.

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to the Center for the Advancement of Virtual Organizations podcast, Essential Remote Relationship Building Opportunities for Managers. Today we're going to be talking with Dr. Sunny Zemer, and I'm Dr. Kathy Ritchie, Associate Professor in the College of Business, Engineering and Technology at National University. Sunny is our current Cavo visiting virtual expert and CEO of Distribute Consulting. Our discussion today is going to focus on key opportunities to build stronger relationships in remote teams from onboarding to team retreats, along with practical tips for fostering that all-important trust and connection. Welcome, Sunny, and thanks so much for taking the time to come and chat about this important topic.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'm very excited to chat about it.

SPEAKER_00:

So thank you, and we will uh get started. Uh so thank you. If you could uh tell us just a little bit about your background and uh a little bit about yourself, if you will.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, absolutely. So I actually was very fortunate to start working remotely before the pandemic. Um I joined a company that was uh had no office, was fully remote, um, and just worked remotely. Then when I left that job, I realized that I loved working remote. Um, this was still pre-pandemic at the time. And so there weren't a ton of companies that offered that as a benefit or as a way of working. Um, and so I decided that I wanted to get into consulting to help companies offer that. Um, and so I decided that that was going to be the trajectory of my career. And then the pandemic hit. And so all of a sudden, everybody was interested and knowing what I had to say and needing help on how to do remote work well. Um, and you know, fast forward four years, we're still there. Lots of people that are hungry to make sure that they know that their teams are working the best ways that they can, are most productive, and are happy, even in a virtual world.

SPEAKER_00:

Perfect. I really can relate to the idea that you connected and started and realized your interest before the pandemic. So, what perfect timing to be able to help companies and be able to start helping them work well in that environment that we have as much more of a norm now. So let's um let's leverage on that valuable experience that you have and let's get started. So, our first question for you is um building relationships remotely can be tricky. In your experience, what are the most important moments managers should focus on to strengthen connections with their team?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's a great question. I think that it really starts from go, right? So onboarding. Um, I think that having a really strong plan on how to build relationships from the moment somebody starts with the team. Um, so that may be onboarding to the company, but even just if somebody is onboarding onto a new team, really having that plan. Um, now we all know that not every company is onboarding everybody all at once. And it's, you know, a lot of these companies already exist. And so they need to be able to know how to build those relationships in other ways with current employees. Um, so there's a lot of spaces to do that too. There's big moments. So things like celebrations, mistakes, right? Build relationships in those moments. Build that trust. Trust is something that is just so so key in building a good culture and building relationships. And so using sort of those big moments. So work celebrations, right? Like a great, we close this giant client or personal celebrations. It's your birthday, happy birthday. Use those big moments. Um, but I also think little moments are really important. And I think those are the ones that are sometimes forgotten about. Um, so that might look like uh just everyday meetings, making sure that you're spending time building relationships there, um, setting standards and communication so that there's trust building going on, you're treating people like humans and not just a screen. Um, even things like walking the walk of what you're saying. So as a manager, using your PTO and not just telling people you should use your PTO and you never do. Like really walk the walk, live the things that you're saying. And I think you can find those moments in all of those spaces.

SPEAKER_00:

Interesting. I like how you're talking about those big moments and also the little moments that goes with that. So that kind of takes me into general tools and um things like getting to know you, doc, or or just recording some of the onboarding. Like you said, it's not just when you're starting as a new employee, but but that ongoing kind of powerful way of building relationships and trust. Could you talk a little bit more about uh creating that getting to know you doc?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I love the getting to know you doc personally. Um, I am a people person. And so I love this tool of like truly being like, let's be intentional about getting to know you. Um, I also think it's really important to note that it needs to go both ways. So if you're having people do getting to know you docks, you need to also share your getting to know you doc and their team members getting to know you, doc. It should hopefully all of those live in a space that's accessible so that it's not just like, you know, that feeling of like, I joined a new school and I'm standing in front introducing myself. It's no, it's a full team introduction. Um, but there's so much value in those because it gives a person an opportunity to kind of speak up about how they like to communicate or their ways of working or what lights them up inside. And it also gives them an opportunity to sort of let you know, like, hey, if I ever get super quiet, that probably means something's wrong. Uh, in a remote virtual world, we don't always have those visual cues. And so to up front and get to be very honest about your cues, I think that's so empowering. Um, and like I said, I think it's really important too that that onboarded person gets to see that for everybody so that it feels kind of like an equal ground.

SPEAKER_00:

I like that concept of equal ground and um building that introduction to the team overall. Um, that takes us again into the important trust element as a foundational piece of any working relationship, especially in remote work. So, what are some other practical ways that managers can build trust with their teams on a day-to-day basis?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's so great. I think trust, like you're saying, it's just so foundational to that, the building of culture and just those relationships that you can build. So, day-to-day, I think the easy answer there is just consistent behaviors. So, expectation setting, defining productivity, those things that are everyday that feel almost silly to say, like, oh, we we're going to put this in writing or we're going to express this. But that is how you really start to build trust. You say, I can trust that this person will do these actions or will, you know, um, feel like they understand what they're supposed to be doing. There's no gray areas. And so really identifying those is going to set you off on a great path. Um, I think being genuine and creating safe spaces. So managers can't just say the words, right? They have to mean them. And so I think that that is sometimes like one of the pitfalls I will see is that a manager will, you know, I'll say, okay, here is an example of something you could do in a meeting to help build a relationship. And they'll go in and they'll say it verbatim the way I said it. But that's not their personality. It wouldn't have come out of their mouths that way if they had come up with it. They need to be genuine. They have to say, okay, I get the gist of what this exercise is. How should I take this and do it so that the team doesn't feel like I'm just saying this because I'm supposed to. Um, that helps create that safe space. It helps people feel like they can share things, they can give feedback. Um, it ensures you have that space. And then I also think you need to audit the processes to ensure that those actions um relay trust. So think about what you're doing. You want to make sure you're not micromanaging, you want to make sure that you're not accidentally in this process making someone feel not trusted by saying, after every step, you have to check in with me. I mean, there may be projects that require that literally, but most probably don't. And so just sort of taking a look at your processes and ensuring that those are not accidentally kind of damaging that relationship building. Um, and so just by doing those few things regularly, it just becomes an everyday thing that you're building these relationships, you're strengthening them. Um, and it, you know, makes the culture really great.

SPEAKER_00:

I like how many times you talk about uh how a manager needs to be genuine and really themselves. And I think we can all have a short smirk of recognizing that we've been micromanaged at one time or another in our careers as well. So uh relaying that trust and being able to apply the uniqueness of who we are as managers makes that audit and those actions much more clear and important. So thank you for that. Um the next the next uh kind of topic I'd like to move into is about team retreats. And I personally have had this experience too, where you don't always have the connection for an in-person retreat that usually is budget restraint. So if you think about having a team retreat as highlighting the key relationship-building opportunities you speak about, um, how would you uh create similar moments without necessarily always having that face-to-face in-person time?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, absolutely. So it's interesting. I actually just saw something on LinkedIn and I wrote this quote down because it I think it's so powerful that successful collaboration isn't about gathering, it's about creating intentional, meaningful connections with a clear purpose. Um, so Chase Warrington said that he works with duists, and he is uh definitely one of my idols when it comes to remote uh retreats and the meaning and the purpose behind them. Um, and so I think really taking that into account, right? It isn't just about being together. So it it like in the physical sense, it is about having a clear purpose. And so I think that's what you have to start with. If you decide, okay, we still want to have some sort of meeting, some maybe it's a one-day meeting once a year where everybody comes together virtually. You have to decide why you're doing that. Is it just for the sake of saying that you did? Oh, we don't do, you know, retreats where we all get together, but we feel like we better do something. That's not a good enough reason, right? You're gonna have people leave that day and be like, what a waste of my time. You have to be really intentional about why you're doing that. I also think you have to be really good at communication. So plan ahead for this. Don't plop something like that on somebody's calendar for like the next day. That is never going, you're not gonna get the participation you're looking for. People are gonna be distracted. So be intentional a year ahead of time if you can and say, great, this is the plan. We're going to have this virtual retreat. It's gonna be on one day, you know, this X date, and here is why we're coming together. Um, and then you have time then to really plan what that looks like. I think that it is a good exercise to think, okay, if we were getting together in person, what would we be doing? Would we make sure we have time for a coffee chat? Would we be networking within departments? Would we hold a giant brainstorm? You can do all of that virtually just as easily. You also want to be thoughtful of the tools that you're using when you do it, because right, usually a big part of coming together at a retreat is to be able to chat and to have dialogue. And so you want to make sure you're not just going into just presenter mode. You want to be thoughtful that there's a space to chat and maybe there's breakout rooms and things like that. So a lot of planning and thought needs to go into it. Um, but it can absolutely be a success. I also think remembering the details. So team time zone management. Um, when you all come together physically, obviously you're in one place, and so everybody can be there at one o'clock, and that's not a big deal. Um, but if you're on a team that's spread across time zones and you're asking everybody to come together for this virtual retreat, you want to be thoughtful that it is not two in the morning for someone, or if that's just inevitable, what's the plan to make sure that they still feel included in the meeting and how can they participate? Um, you know, even if maybe they aren't there the entire time. Um, like I said, proper notice and calendaring so that if you're coming together to really have time to spend together and to chat together, you don't have people feeling like they have to be doing work on the side or they're not paying full attention because they've had the proper time to clear their calendars and make the adjustments to their project management plans. And I think expect expectation setting. So letting everybody know going in, come ready to chat, right? This is what the goal is. This is how we're hoping to do it. Here's an agenda that you can see ahead of time so you can decide great, I, you know, am gonna make sure that I am caffeinated because we're having a brainstorm first thing in the morning, and I want to be ready to really participate, um, empower everybody that's joining in all of the ways that you can. Uh, but I think that it is absolutely possible to do amazing things in a virtual retreat.

SPEAKER_00:

I think so too. And I I like some of the things that uh are subtle in a way that you said things like planning a year ahead, um, having that clear purpose with an intentional connection. Um, I like also the idea that you're talking about empowering everyone. So if we talk about adding uh chat time onto agendas, how do you think that some of those small adjustments can help foster those team relationships with better communication to really make everyone feel like they're empowered? Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

That's so, so important. So I think that it's it's really important to be thoughtful and to really make sure is doing this appropriate, right? There are times that it's going to be appropriate. Um, like, you know, having that chat time on a weekly team call and knowing that, you know, we're getting together, we're having status checks, things like that. Um, and and really thinking that through. But also knowing that throwing in that chat time on an annual review, maybe not the most appropriate, right? You know, somebody is, I'm not saying don't be a personable, but you're not gonna say, here's the agenda, we're gonna spend five minutes just catching up. It's like, no, these people probably would like to get to the review part. Um, and so just being really thoughtful of what you are doing to foster these relationships. Don't just do it because you feel like you have to. It needs to be appropriate. Um, I think that it is fantastic when you find those appropriate places um to have that chat time or have that connection time. Um, it gives that permission to do it. I mean, I've been on a bunch of calls where it's not built in, but you know, I want to check in on everybody and see how everybody's doing. But then I start to feel like, oh, you know, am I taking up some of the precious time? And you kind of start to feel bad and it loses sort of the goal and the strength in that connection. And so by having it on an agenda, you have that permission of like, this is what we're supposed to be doing. Um, I also think that you can be very thoughtful in exactly what that chat time looks like. It can be open-ended, it can flow naturally. Uh, but you could also use things like icebreakers, which I know people shudder at the word icebreakers, but there are so many really fun kinds of activities that get the brain flowing and get you chatting that end up filed under the term icebreaker, but it actually really is fun and it feels like a game. Um, you can also do things like build a question list, have everybody submit some fun question, and that's what you are gonna do during your chat time. Um, so you know, having a plan and kind of following the lead of your team too. If you tried letting it flow naturally and everybody's just sitting there in silence, maybe you need to try something else. Um, you want to make sure that it's not wasted time, that it really is sort of building these relationships. Um, and I also think that it's super beneficial to have a couple of minutes at the top of the call to sort of get into the mindset of the call. So even though it may just be chatter and it's not necessarily like about the topic of the call, you know, somebody may be joining from back-to-back calls. And it gives them that second to sort of reset their brain and be like, okay, I can take a breath. All right, I'm getting into this call. And it's almost uh like the replacement of walking down the hall, um, you know, taking a quick stop at the water fountain before you go into your next meeting. Um, and so I, to me, I think it it is fantastic to be intentional in having that expected time to build trust, to build empathy, and to just generally have a little moment to be human together.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you, Sunny. Um, do you have any closing thoughts that you'd like to leave for our listeners today?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, absolutely. So since it is the end of the year, I just really want to encourage everyone to kind of use that momentum of that, you know, stereotypical like end of your reflections and then new year, new me to really set yourself some culture goals. They could be big, they could be small, it could even just be that you want to take a little bit of time to look at what you're already doing and make sure that it's still working. Um, you know, make sure that it's still serving the team and also to celebrate that if you're thinking about your company's culture, you are ahead of the curve. Like give yourself that minute to celebrate that you are working towards making this workplace great for your employees, for yourself, for the whole team. And, you know, let yourself celebrate that.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you, Sunny. That is a great way to celebrate the end of the year. I like that suggestion a lot. How could uh people connect with you, Sunny?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, thank you. So um, you can find me on LinkedIn. Um, my name is Sunny Zemer. It's just like the weather. Um, you can also find uh more about my work on distributeconsulting.com, or you could even reach out via email, and it is sunny at distributeconsulting.com.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you. So you've shared great strategies and tips to help managers strengthen their relationships within their remote teams and build trust through intentional actions. It's been a pleasure talking with you, Sunny. Uh, thank you for joining us and sharing your expertise in support of the Center for the Advancement of Virtual Organizations. Your insights are invaluable, and we're confident our listeners will gain much from the information you've shared with us today. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you so much. It has been such a pleasure.